In an historic moment, Perth is set to host the AFL Grand Final in 2021 due to the ongoing COVID crisis in Victoria. We firmly believe we should make the most of this occasion and celebrate the amazing local scene Perth has fostered. In terms of who we think will play, our money is on any combination of John Butler Trio, Eskimo Joe, San Cisco, Spacey Jane and/or Birds of Tokyo. No hate to any of those acts, they all deserve their time in the spotlight, but we can’t help but think they’re just a bit too much of a safe call. Here are ten other acts that we reckon would knock it out of the park if given the opportunity.

1. Tame Impala

Okay, this one is bleedingly obvious. They’re one of Perth’s biggest exports of all time, headlining Coachella and collaborating with some of the biggest artists around the world. If the AFL was trying to muster global attention, this would surely draw in some curious international onlookers. Their music also fits the occasion perfectly, with some grooves and iconic riffs and an acclaimed live set. This would be a Killers-level success. We also know they’re big footy fans, with Kevin Parker being Fremantle’s #1 ticket holder. ‘Elephant’ was literally made to be blasted to sport crowd. The only way this would be even more obvious would be if the Dockers were in the Grand Final. Hey, maybe one day!

2. Ghost Care

Ghost Care are masters of the earworm riff and melodies that burrow their way into your brain. Their choruses are big as hell, and their live set has really gone to a whole new level since touring with the likes of Spacey Jane. Songs like ‘Another’ and ‘Kevin Garnett’ would absolutely go off.

3. Dennis Cometti

The reason this should happen is right there in the name. It would be a dog act for the AFL not to include them.

4. Stella Donnelly

She might struggle to fill up a set with songs that fit the occasion, but Stella Donnelly well and truly deserves the moment. She’s been winning audiences over worldwide, and her stage presence is captivating.

5. Smol Fish

Okay, an EP called ‘sooky la la’ and track titles like ‘Cry All the Time’ and ‘Sad Girl Summer’ might not scream ‘big-stage sporting event’. However, their songs are (generally) upbeat and catchy as hell, and they put on a great live show. Why not?

6. The Love Junkies

Another high-octane rock group that seem like a natural fit for getting the crowd hyped. Maybe there’s a bit too much screaming for the children, but that never stopped the AFL from bringing out Meatloaf.

7. Jack Davies & The Bush Chooks

The AFL has booked Paul Kelly once or twice, so how about they book his spiritual successor? Jack is a truly talented songwriter with a wicked band to accompany him, and has been booking bigger and bigger stages as his career has progressed. Why not book him for the biggest stage in the state?

8. Girl From Mars

They might be relative newcomers on the scene compared to some of the other acts on this list, but Girl From Mars have rightfully cemented their spot as one of the hottest local acts around. Stirring anthems like ‘Blue Bathtub’ would sound huge coming from the Stadium speakers (although perhaps with slightly altered lyrics to remove swearing and drug references).

9. Grievous Bodily Calm

This is probably a left-field choice. The AFL tends to look to pop and rock for their entertainment choices, so instrumental jazz/hip-hop might not be on their radar. However, if we’re looking for high-energy, well-honed live acts, the Grievous crew would surely get the crowd moving if given the opportunity.

10. Myriad Sun

This one is even more unlikely than Grievous Bodily Calm, but there’s no denying Nelson puts on an insane live show. Twitter’s reaction from a guy painted in all red with a blond wig screaming over programmed beats is just too fun to imagine. Make it happen!